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TOASTER WINS!!! |
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| CPFOG the Blog is: Photoshop – Ryan Joyce Concept – Gord Gardiner |
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
AQUAMAN vs. A TOASTER for Thursday, December 3, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
TOP FIVE BACON PRODUCTS THAT AREN'T BACON for Tuesday, December 1, 2009
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| Ah bacon. Manna of the Gods. Born from the same magical animal that brings us pork and ham. It has a million and one uses. You can fry it, you can wrap it around other meat products, you can even dunk it in chocolate. Truly when God was creating bacon, he was creating his greatest gift to man. And man has taken this gift a run with it. Turning a simple strip of meat into numerous products, each one better than the last. Below you will behold bacon in all of it's glory. |
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 What better way to finish a day of bacon infused goodness then to get the little bits of bacon out from your teeth with, wait for it, Bacon Floss. Think about it. Dental floss that tastes like bacon. That means even after you brush your teeth, you can taste bacon. Amazing! Brought to you by the good folks at Archie McPhee, they have a whole slew of bacon products such as Bacon Breath Mints, Bacon Toothpicks and even a bacon belt, meaning you can love your bacon all day and all of the night! |
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The Bacon Candy Bar. The Bacon Candy Bar THE BACON CANDY BAR!!! HOLY CRAP I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, IT’S A FREAKIN’ BACON FREAKIN’ CANDY FREAKIN’ FREAKIN’ BAR. FREAKIN’ Vosges Chocolate, who have stores in Chicago and New York, finally did what we all thought but didn’t have the brass balls to do. Two great tastes that taste great together (Suck it Reese!) I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s a freakin’ bacon candy bar! Die happy people. |
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 Bacon Ice Cream is such a simple idea, why has no one thought of it before? Instead we get stuck with that stupid Rocky Road. Udder Delight of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware (Don’t let the name fool you, they are geniuses) finally decided enough was enough, and here we have it, Bacon Ice Cream. Not only is it flavoured bacon, it has bacon bits in it for a bacon infusion that’ll make you travel back through time. |
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 Look at the picture. Do you see what I see? Sure, to the untrained eye it’s just a maple cupcake with a bit of bacon on it, but in reality it’s a gift from on high. Made by Tee & Cakes of Boulder, Colorado it was made to simulate the best type of breakfast in noble cupcake form and (This is the best part kids, so pay attention) it’s made fresh daily. You can’t even get that type of love from your mother. |
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 Two friends Justin and Dave were chatting one day and discovered each others love for bacon. From that talk came J&D’s bacon salt, but their best product ever is Baconnaise, bacon flavoured mayonnaise. I’m going to say that again, Mayonnaise with the great taste of bacon! I think I just had a little heart attack just typing that. Their company also makes Bacon Pop, Bacon Ranch Dressing and all their products are Kosher, so no need to feel guilty my Jewish friends. |
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WEEKLY NEWS ROUNDUP for Monday, November 30, 2009
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A VERY SPECIAL “DOG LIKE SICK” ISSUE |
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THERE’S NOTHING UP MY SLEEVE | ||
WASHINGTON – The Secret Service was left red faced this week when,  during President Obama’s first official State Dinner, a couple gate crashed. Not only did they make it into the event without invitations, but they also posed for a picture with Vice President Joe Biden and met the first couple in the receiving line. The couple, identified as Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale, would not speak directly to the press, but in a prepared statement said something about “Moose and Squirrel.” | ||
GALILEO GALILEO GALILEO GALILEO | ||
ROME – The director of the Museum of the History of Science in  Florence, Italy proudly announced that they have found two fingers and a tooth that were removed from the corpse of famed scientist and male model Galileo “Figaro” Galilei in 1737. The items were removed from Galileo’s corpse by enthusiastic admirers when the body was moved 95 years after his death. One of the fingers was recovered soon after, but the rest of the items went missing. When asked where the items were found, the director mumbled something about “checking behind the couch” and “the other jacket.” | ||
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IT’S RAINING MEN! | ||
| The world of highly sexualizes pop music was rocked this week when American Idol runner up Adam Lambert presented a highly raunchy performance during the American Music Awards last week. Lambert, who is openly gay, performed his song For Your Entertainment. During the song he simulated fellatio with a dancer and full on kissed a male keyboard player, or as otherwise known, stuff Madonna did fifteen years ago. | ||
CHRISTMAS GIFT TIP #2 | ||
| Toys are fun for birthdays, but at Christmas what a child really desires are socks. Socks are not only the perfect Christmas gift for children, they are the ONLY appropriate gift for children. So buy your child nothing but socks. Mountains of socks. They will love you forever. Trust me. | ||
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JUST A BIT OUTSIDE | ||
| The world of hitting a little ball into a hole was shocked this week when Tiger Woods, after an argument with his wife, smashed his car into a tree after striking a fire hydrant., Woods will now have to drive his other car because, even though he has two cars, he now has a hole in one! BWAHAHAHAHA get it? Oh man I kill me! Thank you. Try the veal. | ||
CHRISTMAS GIFT TIP #3 | ||
| Sure buying Christmas gifts early is practical, but to really show how much you care wait until the last day to buy your presents. Trust me, when your mother opens up hew floor model foot massager show will love you for life! | ||
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| CPFOG the Blog is: Gord Gardiner – Wants a Pony for Christmas. Jen Gardiner – Wants a Pony pooper scooper. |
NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG! |
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