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A VERY SPECIAL “HOLLOW WEENIE” ISSUE |
PACK OF NOSEY KIDS KILLED WHILE TRYING TO EXPOSE OLD AMUSEMENT PARK OWNERS’ EVIL PLANS. POLICE SAY THE GROUP OF KIDS, WHO REGULARLY SOLVE MYSTERIES, EACH MET A HORRIBLE END TO A SEEMINGLY EASY TO ESCAPE TRAP. ”LET’S FACE IT,” A POLICE SPOKESMAN SAID “THESE WERE NOT THE BRIGHTEST KIDS.” THE LONE SURVIVOR OF THE MASSACRE, A STRANGE LOOKING DOG, WAS FOUND BY ONE OF THE BODIES CRYING “RO-NO, RO-NO. RYE SHAGGY, RYE!” |
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SWINE FLU OF LOVE |
| TORONTO – As supplies of the H1N1 flu vaccine dwindle, healthy adults are being asked to step aside so that target groups of high-risk people can get the shots first. The following groups of people can get their H1N1 shots: - Health Care Workers. - Children six months to five years.  - The elderly. - Politicians. - Politicians family. - People who claim they are in a politicians family. - Larry Jacobs - Anyone wearing a T-Shirt with a clever saying on it. (The cleverness of said saying will be determined BEFORE the shot is administered.) - Anyone who can air guitar a half decent version of My Sharona. To make sure there are plenty of H1N1 shots available for the target groups, the following groups of people will not be eligible for the shot at any time. - Goths. That is all. |
That is all. |
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SURE PLAYS A MEAN DEAF GIRL | ||
NEW YORK – The casting of Academy Award nominated actress Abigail Breslin in  the role of Helen Keller in the Broadway revival of the play “The Miracle Worker”, representatives for the blind/deaf acting community said … well I don’t know, they just sort of flapped their hands around a lot then looked at my like I knew what the hell they were doing. Honestly, if they aren’t going to take this seriously…
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PUT ME IN COACH, I’M READY TO PLAY |
| PHILADELPHIA – As game three of baseballs World Series begins, the New York Yankees attack the Philadelphia Phillies on their home turf to pull out a … oh come on, is this crap still going on? It’s November already. Why can’t we have some hockey news???? |
MEANWHILE, OVER IN HOCKEY NEWS … |
| TORONTO – Meanwhile, over in Hockey news, the Toronto Maple Leafs lose yet another one to make their season record 1 win, 7 losses. Hmmmm, I wonder how things are going in the World Series????? |
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A VERY SPECIAL CPFOG APOLOGY |
| We at CPFOG the Blog world headquarters would like to apologise to our deaf friends for suggesting that their form of communication, or “Sign Language” is in any way silly or funny or worth joking about. I said I’M VERY SORRY FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU AND IT' WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN! I SWEAR!!!!!!! Starting now! |
H1N1 SWINE FLU TIP #3 |
| Remember, just because you have the swine flu doesn’t mean you are allowed to be a burden on the health care system. It’s better if you just hide in a darkened room and let nature take it’s course. But you didn’t hear that from me, ok? |
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| CPFOG the Blog is: Gord Gardiner – He did the monster mash. Jen Gardiner – She did the chicken dance. |
