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Keith David and David Keith Together Again for the First Time  |
| Actor David Keith has a film career spanning nearly four decades. He got his start in the film industry doing stunts for a 1974 cinematic gem called Barn of the Naked Dead. (This film, by the way is one of my favourite bad movies because it falls so short of the wonder promised by its title. It’s actually more akin to Tool Shed of the Semi-Clad People Who Aren’t Feeling Well.) A guest-spot on Happy Days led to a recurring role on Co-Ed Fever and that led directly to Hollywood. After that, there was no stopping the supporting-role freight train that is David Keith. IMDB.com lists over one hundred acting credits for David Keith, with several projects due to be released this year, including something called Clown Hunt.  Actor Keith David also has a film career that started in the 70s. His film debut was in the oft-overlooked classic Disco Godfather in which he played the pivotal role of Club Patron. A featured role in John Carpenter’s “The Thing” led to a recurring role as Keith the Southwood Carpenter on Mister Rogers’ Neighbourhood and that led directly (back) to Hollywood. After that, blah blah no stopping blah blah freight train blah blah Keith David. IMDB.com lists over a hundred and fifty acting credits for Keith David, with several projects due to be released this year, including something called Spork.  In reviewing the prolific acting careers of these two cross-named performers, one question leaps immediately to the forefront: Why, oh, dear Lord, why have Keith David and David Keith never been in a movie together? Think about for about eight seconds and you’ll see that pairing these two fine actors is a brilliant and obvious choice. I think they should start with a buddy-cop movie or two, and then move on to a series of “Road…” movies like Bing Crosby and Bob Hope did. After that, maybe a remake of Freebie and the Bean but set it in outer space.  The films would be great no matter what they’re about. They could be about anything because, as their extensive careers show, David Keith and Keith David can do anything. But it won’t happen if we don’t make it happen. Hollywood is notoriously out of touch with what the audience really wants and, in this case, the audience really wants Keith David and David Keith together in a single package. Over and over again. So we have to tell Hollywood. Over and over again, and eventually they will get the message. Start letter-writing campaigns and email campaigns and Facebook groups and MySpace whatevers and get the word out there. If enough people demand it, it will happen. And it will be awesome! |
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Thursday, February 11, 2010
KEITH DAVID & DAVID KEITH, TOGETHER AGAIN ... for Friday, February 12, 2010
YET MORE HEADLINES for Wednesday, February 10, 2010
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HEADLINES: THE RESULT OF TOO MUCH ORAL SEX?OR… THE RESULT OF TOO LITTLE ORAL SEX? |
| Blah blah blah… witty opening, witty opening continues, sudden TWIST hey presto. Which can only mean… IT’S TIME TO HAVE FUN WITH HEADLINES!!!!!!  |
VANCOUVER PROTESTERS FORCE HARPER TO SCRAP APPEARANCE SURPRISE TWIST: HARPER’S ONE MAN SHOW “THE ACCOUNTANT WHO ROARED” PERFORMED IN AN AUTOMOTIVE WRECKER’S YARD IS A SMASH HIT!  |
FORCES IN 'SHOCK' OVER COLONEL'S ARREST …EXCEPT FOR WIND… AND GRAVITY. THEY BOTH SAW IT COMING.Or…CHICKENS FROM KENTUCKY DECLARE: “IT’S ABOUT FREAKIN’ TIME!” |
N.L. CHOPPER CRASH WIDOW ASSAILS COMPANIES  |
CSIS WON'T OPEN FULL TOMMY DOUGLAS FILE CBS WON’T RELEASE FULL THOMAS MAGNUM FILECBC CONTINUES TO IMPRISON TOMMY HUNTER. NOT A FILE. THE ACTUAL TOMMY HUNTER. |
SASK. FINANCE MINISTER HAS PARKINSON'S HAS PARK IN SON’S… WHAT? |
CALGARY MED STUDENTS VOLUNTEER AT HOMELESS SHELTER MORTALITY RATE AT CALGARY HOSPITAL SOARS AS UNWIELDY MOB OF DISPLACED HOMELESS DRUNKS AND JUNKIES DIAGNOSE PATIENTS, DISPENSE PHARMACEUTICALS AND PERFORM SURGERY |
WINNIPEG THIEF TARGETS OLYMPIANS' VAN ZEUS LAUGHS BRIEFLY BEFORE TARGETING STUPID THIEF’S ASS WITH LIGHTNING BOLT. |
ETHICAL-SEALING PLEDGE COULD LIFT EU BAN: SENATOR UNETHICAL FLOOR POLISH COULD CAUSE EU TO SLIP ON FLOOR: JANITOR. |
CALGARY UNDERGROUND TATTOO PARLOURS CLOSED …TURNS OUT PEOPLE WHO LIKE TATTOOS ARE CRAP AT TUNNELLING.  |
SNOW BLANKETS SOUTH-WESTERN ONTARIO UH… RAIN TOWELS NORTH-EASTERN MANITOBA? |
SLAIN WOMAN IN COLONEL CASE REMEMBERED …REMEMBERED WHAT!?! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THIS COULD BE IMPORTANT!!! |
HULA HOOP SHORTAGE DUE TO OLYMPIC FEVER YOYO SHORTAGE DUE TO SWOLLEN… AH WHO’S KIDDING WHO? THERE’S NEVER GOING TO BE A YOYO SHORTAGE. |
N.L. HOCKEY COACH CHARGED WITH SEX ASSAULT WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?! OH WAIT. I MEAN SOMEONE ELSE!!! ANYONE ELSE??? NO WAIT. NOT YOU PRIESTS!  |
OLYMPIC TORCH LIGHTS UP VANCOUVER'S NORTH SHORE OLYMPIC FIRE EXTINGUISHER BARELY ARRIVES IN TIME. |
N.L. BRIDGE SECTION COLLAPSES INTO SALMON RIVER IN A RETALIATORY MOVE SALMON BUILD NEW SCHOOL IN ITS PLACE. |
SERIOUS ALLERGY REACTION WORRIES N.L. SCHOOL DOCTORS REASSURE SCHOOL THAT BUILDINGS CAN’T ACTUALLY HAVE ALLERGIES. |
CELL PHONE DRIVING BAN NEEDS TO GO FURTHER: CAA OH COME ON!!! WE CAN’T EVEN DRIVE CELL PHONES NOW!!!HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BAN THAT MORE!?!   |
AIR CANADA TO SUE FOR TORONTO ISLAND RETURN TORONTO ISLAND SAYS IT’S “NOT COMING BACK UNTIL AIR CANADA APOLOGIZES FOR SLEEPING WITH THAT TRASHY ‘VIRGIN’ AIRBUS”. |
PREPARE FOR RISING SEA LEVELS, HALIFAX TOLD SUGGESTIONS INCLUDE WATER WINGS, SURFBOARD TRANSIT SYSTEM & LEARNING TO HOLD THEIR BREATH FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. |
QUEBEC LEGISLATORS DEBATE DEFICIT, ETHICS WHAT DEBATE? IS ANYONE ACTUALLY ARGUING THAT THERE ISN’T A DEFICIT OF ETHICS? I MEAN… THEY’RE POLITICIANS FOR GOD’S SAKE! |
VANCOUVER TAP WATER VIES WITH OLYMPIC SPONSOR OLYMPIC SPONSOR OBJECTS TO BEING USED TO TAP THINGSAND WHAT THE HECK “VIES” ARE. |
EXPLOSIVE CHEMICALS NOT STOLEN AFTER ALL: RCMP TURNS OUT THEY WERE RIGHT WHERE THEY SHOULD BE… IN THE CENTRE OF THAT GIGANTIC SMOKING HOLE OVER THERE. |
OLYMPIC SPIRIT WILL LAUNCH B.C. REFORMS: THRONE SPEECH SO… THE DEAD HAVE RISEN, THEY’RE REFORMERS AND THEY WON’T SHUT UP! |
TORIES NEED PLAN FOR ISOTOPE SHORTAGE: IGNATIEFF I THINK THEY’RE CONFUSING THE FACT THAT IGNATIEFF MAKES PEOPLE SICK WITH HIM BEING RADIOACTIVE. |
BOOST FUNDING FOR FAMILY AT ER INQUEST: JUDGE IF THEY WANT MORE CASH LET KING OF THE HILL PAY FOR IT: CLOONEY. |
HOARDER'S HOME BOARDED UP HOARDER THRILLED THAT SHE CAN NOW STACK CRAP AGAINST THE WINDOWS. |
CARGO SHIP FREED IN ST. LAWRENCE RIVER THAT’S NEWS? OKAY FINE. SAILBOAT JACK’S BOAT ALSO IN ST. LAWRENCE RIVER.  |
OWN THE PODIUM TO GET NO EXTRA FUNDING UH… I THINK I’D RATHER OWN THE PODIUM TO GET EXTRA FUNDING. WOULDN’T YOU? |
CRASH BY WINDSOR CLOSES HWY. 401 WESTBOUND PERHAPS THE CITY SHOULDN’T DRIVE DRUNK. |
TIM HORTON’S DEFENDS CUSTOMER BAN SO… THEY DON’T WANT CUSTOMERS.  |
ANOTHER N.L. CHOPPER CRASH INEVITABLE: UNION OKAY THAT’S IT! UNION? YOU’RE FIRED!!! |
RED TAPE DELAYS HAITIAN RELIEF VOLUNTEERS MAY WE SUGGEST SCISSORS? |
APRIL WINE ADDED TO CANADIAN HALL OF FAME HALL OF FAME CRASHES INTO WAYWARD CITY OF WINDSOR. |
NORTEL STRIKES DEAL ON PENSIONS, DISABILITY WHAT A SHITTY DEAL. “HERE, HAVE ALL THE DISABILITY YOU WANT.” WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? |
Monday, February 8, 2010
WEEKLY NEWS ROUNDUP for Monday, February 1, 2010
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A VERY SPECIAL “STATE OF THE UNION” ISSUE |
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STATE OF THE NATION OF STATES |
WASHINGTON – On Wednesday the 27th, President Barak “Hi Say” Obama stood in front of a joint session of Congress to deliver his first State of the Union Address. During the almost hour long speech Obama addressed job creation and Federal Deficit reduction, although some were upset that he did not address the … … OH MY GOD Samantha Harris is leaving Dancing with the Stars!!!! What are we gonna do now? Why isn’t someone doing something about this?? This is the WORST THING TO HAPPEN EVER!!!!!!! … after which he tried to solve a Rubics Cube while singing the love theme to Saint Elmo’s Fire. So a successful night overall for the President. |
I’M LOOKING AT THE MAN IN THE MIRROR |
| LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles prosecutors announced that Dr. Conrad Murray, the Doctor at the heart of the mysterious death of Michael Jackson, will turn himself in on Wednesday the 3rd to face charges in Jackson’s death. Finally we will begin to get some answers |
THE FACE OF BO |
| INDIA – The last speaker of an ancient language in India's Andaman Islands has died at the age of about 85. the death of Boa Sr was highly significant because one of the world's oldest languages - Bo - had come to an end And so in celebration of you, Boa Sr, I would like to say in your native language … but I can’t. So there. |
IT DON’T MATTER IF YOU’RE BLACK OR WHITE |
LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles prosecutors announced that Dr. Conrad Murray, the  Doctor at the heart of the mysterious death of Michael Jackson, will turn himself in on Thursday the 4th to face charges in Jackson’s death. Finally we will begin to get some answers |
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WHEN A SOMETHING MEETS A SOMEONE COMING SOMETHING SOMETHING |
CORNISH, N.H. - Reclusive author of the book The Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger  died this week at the age of 91. Much like the author, his funeral will be a private affair that is far too long, full of itself and boring as hell. And much like his famous novel, many people will have claimed to have not only been to the funeral, but stayed until the end and make sure everyone knows that the funeral changed their lives. Finger sandwiches will be served. |
AGAINST THE WALL |
| LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles prosecutors announced that Dr. Conrad Murray, the Doctor at the heart of the mysterious death of Michael Jackson, will turn himself in on Friday the 4th to face charges in Jackson’s death. Finally we answers to will begin get some. |
GAGA? I HARDLY KNOW HER! |
The music industry celebrated itself with the awarding of the 2010 Grammy Awards. The ceremony, held at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, featured appearances from such notable music artists as Lady Gaga, Neil Young and  someone named Snooki. CPFOG is proud to present a short list of notable Grammy winners. - Lady Gaga won for “best dance recording by a person who may or may not have both sex organs. “ - Neil Young won the “He’s close enough to death that we might as well throw him a bone” award. - The “Way to sell out in the worst way possible” award went to Green Day for being Green Day. - “Best New Artist” went to some band you’ve never heard of before, and there is a huge chance you will never hear of them again. |
INSERT RANDOM MICHAEL JACKSON LYRIC |
| LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles prosecutors announced that Dr. Conrad Murray, the Doctor at the heart of the mysterious death of Michael Jackson, will turn himself in on Monday the 8th to face charges in Jackson’s death. For Christ's sake, just shoot the man already. |
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OH WHEN THE SAINTS … |
SOUTH FLORIDA - Congratulations go out to the New Orleans Saints Football team for winning the Super bowl. For those who don’t know, the Super bowl is a game where a bunch of men in tight pants run around getting sweaty, tackling and rolling around with each other, and at the end they slap each other on their rear ends. The game was watched by an estimated 100 Million majorly heterosexual men worldwide. |
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| CPFOG the Blog is: Written by – Gord Gardiner Proofread by – Jenifer Gardiner |
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