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| MICHAEL JACKSON RAISES FROM THE GRAVE FUNERAL FOR KING OF POP INTERRUPTED WHEN SINGER, OTHER CORPSES RISE FROM THE GRAVE TO PERFORM THIRTEEN MINUTE DANCE ROUTINE WITH NARRATION BY THE LATE VINCENT PRICE. ACCORDING TO WITNESSES THE ROUTINE WAS KINDA SCARY, BUT HAD A GOOD BEAT. |
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| I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT EIGHTEEN |
| BRAMPTON, Ontario – Saad Khalid, a member of the so called “Toronto 18”, pled guilty at one charge of participating in a terror plot. On Thursday the Judge sentenced Khalid to fourteen years in prison, but granted him seven years credit for time already served. He then cut that seven years in half because Khalid smiled nicely. That was chopped by ten days because the Judge had a really good cup of coffee that morning. The remaining amount was chopped in half just for the hell of it. Meaning in the end, we owed Khalid ten days. Ain’t justice grand? |
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| I GOTTA HAVE FAITH |
VATICAN CITY – The Vatican has released the prayer intentions of Pope Benedict XVI for the month of September. The Holy Father asks that Catholics pray for oppressed Christians in Southeast Asia, for those who are suffering under political strife, and that he will finally get the high score in the Vatican cafeteria Ms. Pac Man machine. “The Holy Father believes that the suffering of good Christians is an important subject,” a Vatican spokesman said “and no one suffers more than Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Sue. |
| CPFOG the BLOG IS PROUD TO PRESENT OTHER THINGS THE POPE WANTS YOU TO PRAY FOR | |
| Kitties. The Pope likes kitties. That His Holiness Can Get Decent Larry The Cable Guy Tickets The Return of the McDLT That Sandra Bullock Gets the Pope’s Fan Letter That Bishop McStupid Head Actually Set the PVR to Record Glee Like He Said He Would (Again).
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| OH BOTHER LOL | |
81 Years after bidding a fond Farwell to Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh is  returning in the first official sequel to the original classics. Written by David Benedictus and authorised by the estate of original author A.A. Milne, the new book is titled Winnie the Pooh and Facebook Too and it describes the beloved bears adventures with online dating, having his identity stolen and being caught in a sex tape scandal with Kanga, which leads to a paternity test on The Maury Show to determine once and for all who is the father of Little Roo. Other stories include Tigger takes OCD Medication and The Foreclosed House at Pooh Corner. |
| 3D OR NOT 3D? THAT IS THE QUESTION! |
| 3D horror sequel The Final Destination topped the box office for the second week in a row, taking in an estimated $12.4 million and beating out newcomer film Piece of Crap Romantic Comedy and So Bad I Lost My Will To Live Action/Adventure featuring Shirtless Sweaty Guy. Meanwhile, three week old Better Movie Than We Deserve was still holding strong against Bastard Remake II and Raping Of Our Childhood with the top ten rounded out with Stupid Concept, Bad Book Translation and Mike Judges’ Extract. |
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| CPFOG the Blog is: Gord Gardiner – Writer - Was up way too late last night. Jen Ashton Gardiner – Prufredder – Stupid husband drank too much |
| Hey, we have an advertiser. When did that happen? |
