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A VERY SPECIAL “LIFE IS LIKE A MOVIE” ISSUE |
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DOMO ARIGATO MR PRESIDENTO | |
WASHINGTON – President Obama embarked Thursday on his first presidential visit  to Asia. The eight day trip will see him visit eight cities in four countries. The most notable visit will be to Japan. While there he will appear on their top talk show Sakaseusang, where he will chat with the host, play human Tetris and get hit in the nuts with a pole. Other guests will include Japanese movie star Chiaki Kuriyama, singing group Pabo and prop comic Carrot Top. Obama will also visit China, where he will visit the Great Wall, Singapore where he will visit the Singapore Art Museum, and Korea where he will visit the remains of the 4077 M*A*S*H unit. | |
A FEW HELPFUL TIPS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION | |
| OTTAWA – On Thursday the Canadian Government released a new citizenship guide which warns newcomers against “barbaric cultural practices.” "In Canada, men and women are equal under the law," the document  says. "Canada's openness and generosity do not extend to barbaric cultural practices.” The document then goes on to define such practices, including honour killings, spousal abuse and playing music by the band Oasis. Other cultural no-no’s included in the document are: - Hugh Grant will be shot on sight. - No one is allowed to pronounce the word “ask” as “ax.” - No one is allowed to say “Git er dun!” or however the hell you spell it. - The Benny Hill show will be judged on an episode by episode basis. - Asking if Canadians actually pronounce the word “About” as “Aboot” is ground for deportation. - and finally we all drink Tim Horton's. Live with it. | |
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INDEPENDENCE IS HARD TO DO |
More than thirteen years after release of the first movie, Roland Emmerich has said he is planning two sequels to the movie Independence Day. The first movie, ID4-2: Independence Boogaloo, is said to take place years after the first movie and will catch us up on the cast from the first movie as they face a new alien threat. The next movie, ID4-3: Independence Day with a Vengeance, will find the cast swimming in an Olympic sized pool of money from the previous movie. Michael Caine is attached. |
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I SAY, OLD CHAP, GOOD SHOW |
LOS ANGELES - Former boxer and Bob Vivant Man About Town  Mike “Earlobe” Tyson was arrested this week at the Los Angeles International Airport. Tyson, who has had his share of trouble with the law, was arrested on suspicion of being the ringleader of a rare art theft ring. According to Interpol, the international police agency, Tyson had seduced a female insurance investigator while instigating a clever game of cat and mouse, all the while planning, and then making off with the classic painting San Giorgio Maggiore at dusk by Monet and … … … Nah, he hit some guy. But that other thing would have been so cool. |
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| CPFOG The Blog is: Gord Gardiner – Writer, French Guy. Ryan Joyce – Photoshop expert, German guy. Jenifer Gardiner – Prof Redder, Asian Chick. |
SERIOUSLY FOLKS, IT’S PRONOUNCED “ASK.” THREE LETTERS! HOW HARD IS THAT??? |
