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Twas the Maury before Christmas, and all across the stage, Telequisha was angry, she was boiling with rage. She screamed that he left her for his new girlfriend Brandy,  but she knew that St. Ni’kolus was her baby daddy. And Maury was sitting all snug on stage right, with visions of rating he’ll get from this fight. Baby mama is her tank top and bright red hair weave, yells she knows he’s the father, she one thousand per-cent believe. When out in back stage there arose such a clatter. The camera was switched to see what was the matter. Brandy was yelling. Her voice was a roar. “He isn’t the Daddy you bleep, bleeping whore!” “We know you’re a slut and always remember, We all know you slept with his family member!” When what did the studios shock did appear?  Yet another baby mama with another girl for him to rear.“Just look at her forehead, just look at her nose! And just like St. Ni’k she only has eight toes!” But faster that Maury can settle things down, The four of them started to go downtown. “You douche bag!” “You Slut!” “You Jerk wad!” “You Whore!” “My doctor says I can’t make girls anymore!” To the top of their voices all of them yelled! Now bleep away, bleep away, bleep you, you smell! Then Maury took over and calmed them all down. “This sure is a problem” he said with a frown. “There is a solution, there is but one way. To figure this out, we must check DNA!” He then brought out Ni’k and Brandy as well. The audience started to holler and yell.  They entered from stage left. They started to scream. The four of them on stage created a scene. He was dressed in all fur, this homeboy did strut. His pants were all hanging down below his big but. A bundle of gold chains from his neck did hang low. He had teeth in gold, his hair in corn rows. But Maury had work he still had to do. He held a big envelope that held all he knew. “Ni’k” he began “I have the results.” “I’m not worried Maury. These two girls are sluts!” “In the case of Telaquisha, who slept with your brother. I have here the news, you are indeed the father.” “Now on to Twonnie who has her own pup.  We’ll announce the results so we can wrap this all up.”“I’m not worried Maury,” he said with a grin. “She can’t be my daughter, she has lighter skin.” But Maury kept going “The results do not lie You are the father, you are the right guy.” The mothers both jumped up. They started to yell. And his girlfriend Brandy was screaming as well. The audience was cheering. They had the results. But St. Ni’k was humbled. “I’ll act like an adult.” “I’ll take care of my babies, I’ll act like a man.” The audience cheered as loud as they can. And Maury exclaimed and he prepared to do more. Merry Christmas to all, and don’t be a whore! |
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| Written by: Gord Gardiner Proofread by: Jen Gardiner |
