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A VERY SPECIAL “MUSKRAT LOVE” ISSUE | |
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IS IT GETTING WARM IN HERE? | |
COPENHAGEN, Denmark – U.N. chief Ban “Larry” Ki-moon proudly announced that world leaders have reached an agreement on battling climate change. According to the agreement, world leaders can be smug and brag about participation in the agreement for six weeks, after which they will just quietly let all memory of it slowly slip from public consciousness until the next climate change summit. The participants of the summit also proudly announced that they were able to fast track Jon & Kate’s divorce, so they’ve got that going for them. | |
FLYING TO A WINTER WONDERLAND | |
| WASHINGTON – American President Barak “Shecky” Obama had to leave the climate conference and fly back to Washington early. Why? Because he had to get to Washington before record snowfall. Mother Nature, it would seem, is not without a sense of irony. | |
OH YES, WAIT A MINUTE MR. POSTMAN | |
WASHINGTON – White house computer technicians have announced that, during  routine maintenance, they have found 22 Million (With an “M”) emails thought lost. They also announced that six million of those emails were spam for penis enlargements, three million were replies for purchasing penis enlargement products (most of these came from the Vice Presidents account). Two million were links to that “Two girls and a cup” video, five hundred thousand were requests from then President Bush for someone to show him how this email thingy works. A further two and a half million emails were orders for Papa Johns pizza (One million of these had anchovies) and the rest were pictures of cute kitties in clothes. | |
AND NOW, YOUR FEEL GOOD AT CHRISTMAS STORY | |
| TAUNTON, Mass - A Massachusetts man says his 8-year-old son was sent home from school and ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation after drawing a stick figure Jesus on a cross because the teacher thought it was too violent. After the psychological evaluation, the boy was allowed back to school, but the Holy Roman Empire, on the other hand, is still suspended. | |
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HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE …. | |
| We here at CPFOG World Headquarters would like to take a moment to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Ahem. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. So there. | |
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GOOD NIGHT MR. WILLIAMS | |
| HOLLYWOOD – Citing the economic downturn, producers of Robin Williams latest movie, a comedy titled “Wedding Banned” have cancelled the movie before production began.. So Merry Christmas everybody! | |
ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND WATERLOO EVERY DAY | |
The Rock and Roll hall of fame announced their inductees for 2010.  Among those chosen were Genesis, the Stooges and Swedish pop music icons ABBA. When asked about the inclusion of a definitely not Rock and Roll band, a spokesman said they were included because The Captain and Tennille were just too west coast for them. | |
AND IN OTHER CRAPPY ROCK NEWS | |
| Billboard magazine has named Nickleback as group of the decade. And yet another bash against The Captain and Tennille! There is no God!!!!!! | |
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THE TIGER DOES NOT SLEEP TONIGHT | |
In further Tiger Woods news … … … He’s screwed. And not the good type of screwed, because that’s what got him in this mess in the first place. He’s the bad kind of screwed. … Maybe I should have used a word other than screwed? | |
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| CPFOG The Blog is: Gord Gardiner – Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. Jen Gardiner – Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand. | |
| And what the hell does the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame have against the Carpenters??? I tell ya, there is no justice in the world! | |
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