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THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD I SHALL NOT FINISH HIM!!!! | |
VATICAN CITY – While walking down the aisle in St. Peter's Basilica, Pope  Benedict XVI was knocked down by a woman who jumped the barriers.. The woman, who was dressed all in red, was then struck by the Popes’ staff and knocked back against the wall. She then performed a flying leg kick, but was blocked and knocked to the ground where the Pope hit her with a quick barrage of his fists. Suddenly, a voice from above called out “FINISH HIM!” and the reached into the woman's chest, ripped out her heart and held it aloft while the words “FATALITY” appeared above him. As a bizarre coincidence, Midway Games has just announced the new game “Mortal Kombat Vatican.” | |
LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW … ETC. | |
A massive winter storm that hit the Canadian Maritimes this week, stunning the citizens that  seemed to have forgotten that they live in Canada. “This is remarkable,” Gordie McFinnigan said while trying to remember how to shovel his driveway. “I know they have snow like this in Canada, but I’ve never seen it like this here in this country where I live.” Meanwhile, in Halifax, two horses looked at each other in the woods. I even have a picture of it, see. It’s over there to the right, where I put all the pictures. Yeah, I know I should probably try to put some pictures over there on the left, but it really throws off the balance of the page. Anyway this isn’t about me, it’s about the horses … over there … on the right … Aren’t they pretty? | |
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HARK THE HERALD ANGEL SINGS, SHUT THE HELL UP YOU STUPID BITCH!! | |
COLORADO - “Two and a Half Men” star Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas day (On Christmas Day), He was charged for domestic battery against his wife. (On Christmas Day in the morning.) According to the police they received a 911 call on Christmas day (On Christmas day) and responded to a report that Sheen got into an argument with his wife and there was “physical contact.” (On Christmas day in the morning.) Sheen has admitted that there was alcohol involved on Christmas day (on Christmas day) but fortunately no one had to be taken to the hospital. (On Christmas day in the morning.) Meanwhile Sheen has since returned to work in California (In California) while his wife and two children remain in Colorado. (In Colorado at the ski hills. This is fun, you should try this at home.) | |
IT’S A WONDERFUL NIGHT FOR SOME HACKING | |
| The web site for the singer/songwriter/ping pong player Van Morrison was hacked last week, when someone posted the news that Morrison fathered his forth child with a new partner. Which begs the question, who the hell would hack Van Morrisons’ site? In other news, R&B performer Chris Brown’s web site has remained un-hacked for some strange reason. | |
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| It’s that time of year again. The beginning. Which means everybody and their brother is releasing a “Top Ten 2009” list. Well we here at CPFOG are no different, we are just a lot lazier. So we proudly present: | |
TOP TEN ITEMS FROM RANDOM TOP TEN LISTS | |
Prop Comic Carrot Top  Assassins Creed 2 Bea Arthur Clay Guida vs. Diego Sanchez Lady Gaga: “Poker Face” Mike Tyson The First Family Get’s a Dog Ratzilla Hotel Carter And the number one item from random top ten lists is: The Class | |
| Join us again this time next year when we may, or may not, do this again. It all depends on what type of New Years marathon the Food Network has planned. | |
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| CPFOG The BLOG is: Gord Gardiner – Writer and guy who loves pictures of horses in the snow. Wern’t they pretty? Jen Gardiner – Prrrrrrfrrrrrredder and thought up the “On Christmas day” joke, which allowed me to talk about domestic battery without directly making fun of it. (But still, if it offended you in any way, it’s her fault.) | |
BUT I REALLY LIKED THAT BASEBALL MOVIE HE WAS IN, WHICH IS WHY I USED THE PICTURE. |
