CPFOG the blog: WEEKLY NEWS ROUNDUP for Monday, February 1, 2010

A VERY SPECIAL “STATE OF THE UNION” ISSUE

STATE OF THE NATION OF STATES

WASHINGTON – On Wednesday the 27th, President Barak “Hi Say” Obama stood in front of a joint session of Congress to deliver his first State of the Union Address. During

the almost hour long speech Obama addressed job creation and Federal Deficit reduction, although some were upset that he did not address the …

… OH MY GOD Samantha Harris is leaving Dancing with the Stars!!!! What are we gonna do now? Why isn’t someone doing something about this?? This is the WORST THING TO HAPPEN EVER!!!!!!!

… after which he tried to solve a Rubics Cube while singing the love theme to Saint Elmo’s Fire.
So a successful night overall for the President.

I’M LOOKING AT THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles prosecutors announced that Dr. Conrad Murray, the Doctor at the heart of the mysterious death of Michael Jackson, will turn himself in on Wednesday the 3rd to face charges in Jackson’s death.
Finally we will begin to get some answers

THE FACE OF BO

INDIA – The last speaker of an ancient language in India's Andaman Islands has died at the age of about 85. the death of Boa Sr was highly significant because one of the world's oldest languages - Bo - had come to an end
And so in celebration of you, Boa Sr, I would like to say in your native language … but I can’t.
So there.

IT DON’T MATTER IF YOU’RE BLACK OR WHITE

LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles prosecutors announced that Dr. Conrad Murray, the

Doctor at the heart of the mysterious death of Michael Jackson, will turn himself in on Thursday the 4th to face charges in Jackson’s death.
Finally we will begin to get some answers

WHEN A SOMETHING MEETS A SOMEONE COMING SOMETHING SOMETHING

CORNISH, N.H. - Reclusive author of the book The Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger

died this week at the age of 91.
Much like the author, his funeral will be a private affair that is far too long, full of itself and boring as hell. And much like his famous novel, many people will have claimed to have not only been to the funeral, but stayed until the end and make sure everyone knows that the funeral changed their lives.
Finger sandwiches will be served.

AGAINST THE WALL

LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles prosecutors announced that Dr. Conrad Murray, the Doctor at the heart of the mysterious death of Michael Jackson, will turn himself in on Friday the 4th to face charges in Jackson’s death.
Finally we answers to will begin get some.

GAGA? I HARDLY KNOW HER!

The music industry celebrated itself with the awarding of the 2010 Grammy Awards. The ceremony, held at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, featured appearances from such notable music artists as Lady Gaga, Neil Young and

someone named Snooki.
CPFOG is proud to present a short list of notable Grammy winners.
- Lady Gaga won for “best dance recording by a person who may or may not have both sex organs. “ - Neil Young won the “He’s close enough to death that we might as well throw him a bone” award.
- The “Way to sell out in the worst way possible” award went to Green Day for being Green Day.
- “Best New Artist” went to some band you’ve never heard of before, and there is a huge chance you will never hear of them again.

INSERT RANDOM MICHAEL JACKSON LYRIC

LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles prosecutors announced that Dr. Conrad Murray, the Doctor at the heart of the mysterious death of Michael Jackson, will turn himself in on Monday the 8th to face charges in Jackson’s death.
For Christ's sake, just shoot the man already.

OH WHEN THE SAINTS …

SOUTH FLORIDA - Congratulations go out to the New Orleans Saints Football team

for winning the Super bowl. For those who don’t know, the Super bowl is a game where a bunch of men in tight pants run around getting sweaty, tackling and rolling around with each other, and at the end they slap each other on their rear ends.
The game was watched by an estimated 100 Million majorly heterosexual men worldwide.