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A VERY SPECIAL “YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER” ISSUE! |
SCIENTISTS UPSET MAN CAUGHT IN RADIATION EXPLOSION FAILS TO TURN INTO GIANT, GREEN BRUTE OF DESTRUCTION DR. ROBERT “BRUCE” BANNER ABSORBED ALMOST SUPERHUMAN LEVELS OF GAMMA RADIATION, BUT INSTEAD OF MUTATING INTO RAMPAGING BEAST, HE DIED A PAINFUL DEATH INSTEAD. “I CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW DISAPPOINTED WE ARE,” A COLLEAGUE WHO WISHES TO REMAIN NAMELESS SAID, “WHAT IS THE POINT OF GETTING CAUGHT IN AN ACCIDENTAL RADIATION BURST IF ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO IS FRY FROM THE INSIDE OUT?” IN RELATED NEWS, THE U.S. ARMY IS CONSIDERING SCRAPPING EXPENSIVE MUTATED BEAST DEFENCE SYSTEM DUE TO LACK OF MUTATED BEASTS. | |||
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A PALIN TO KEEP YOUR STUFF IN | |||
JUNEAU, Alaska – Former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has announced that her autobiography Going Rogue: An American Life, will be published in a few  weeks. The book was written over a four month period and will describe Palin’s life both in and out of politics. We at CPFOG the Blog were able to get a peek at the contents page: Chapter One: I was born to a married couple, the way God intended. Chapter Three: Grade School. Funded well, as far as I recall. Chapter Five: First Crush. Jesus or Reagan? Chapter Eight: High School. Alaska isn’t the only thing that was frigid. Chapter Ten: My first orgasm. Jesus or Reagan? Chapter Eighteen: Pre-marital sex? not in my family.* Chapter Twenty: How the Mayans predicted my 2012 Presidency. * Chapter written in 2007. | |||
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NEW YORK – The new season of Saturday Night Live premiered last week, with accidentally care about Saturday Night Live again. “I have to admit, I had given up on SNL,” Area man is quoted as saying, “but this on air mistake has perked my interest until something else comes along.” According to all involved, the use of the “F” word was accidental and not at all a way to get publicity for the show, and promise that this … … since Mike Meyers accidentally killed five during a botched surgery. Boy, talk about a Jell-O pudding pop! THIS JUST IN … STOP THE PRESSES … THIS JUST IN … STOP THE PRESSES NEW YORK – One of the Gosselin kids on the TLC show Jon & Kate Plus 8 just passed gas. Representatives for show did not immediately return calls, but one thing is for sure, Jon Gosselin is obviously a jerk. We now return you to your regularly scheduled news article, still in progress. | |||
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IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN |
TORONTO – The first week of the 2009/2010 NHL Hockey season began this week.  As per tradition, the Toronto Maple Leafs lost their first game, Because of this loss the NHL Board of Governors have met and voted to remove the Leafs from playoff contention. Man, that is one bad loss. |
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| CPFOG the Blog: Weekly News Roundup is: Gord Gardiner – Writer, Top Chef and all around good egg. Jen Gardiner – Profrider, American Chopper and all around pancake wearer. |
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