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A VERY SPECIAL “TURKEY DAY” ISSUE |
HEADLINE WRITER CAN’T THINK UP FUNNY HEADLINE! SO THERE. |
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PEACE IS THE WORD. IT’S GOT A GROOVE, IT’S GOT A FEELING! |
WASHINGTON - The world was shocked this week when the committee that awards the Nobel Peace Prize announced that it was awarding the award to American President Barak Obama. Speaking at a press conference, Nobel committee members defended the choice by saying the award was given due to his "efforts to strengthen international diplomacy" and for creating "a new international climate in politics" and for “not being George Bush.” When questioned further of the choice, members said “sure there were others nominated who had done more over a longer period of time, but to research this would have taken valuable time away from our game of Risk, and Henry there almost conquered Australia so we consulted our magic 8 ball and it said “signs point to yes” and that was good enough for us. |
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THE MUSIC OF THE NACHO’S |
LONDON - Composer Andrew Lloyd Webber has announced he is preparing the stage a sequel to his hit musical The Phantom of the Opera. The new musical, titled The Phantom of the Bowling Ally, takes place ten years after the original. The Phantom is now a pin boy at a local Brunswick Bowling ally who still has a crush on Christine, now a star attraction of the Ladies Pro Bowling league. Or maybe not, but it makes about as much sense as what he’s really planning. |
HOW CAN WE MISS YOU IF YOU WON’T GO AWAY? |
| HOLLYWOOD - The world of 12 year old teen girls, thirteen year old teen boys and thirty year old perverted men was shocked this week when Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus The video, performed as a rap song, was released on the public video sharing site YouTube, where it garnered over a million hits. It was then decided that the video would be released as part of a DVD package titled Miley Cyrus: Private Life Public which will be turned into a movie in which Cyrus plays a tween star who desperately wants to keep her private life private but can’t. (Based on an idea by John Hughes.) Meanwhile, if anyone is interested in keeping up with Miley’s personal life, you can always go to her personal web site, her Facebook page, her Myspace page or her YouTube page. |
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IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP |
CALGARY – After the death of a man in Calgary, Canadian health officials are  warning people to stay away from tainted cocaine. According to officials, the tainted drug is laced with a drug that cures worm infections with animals, that can lower white blood cell counts and weaken the immune system. When reached, a spokesman for Health Canada said the drug was “Totally a bummer man. I mean, it’s one thing to get a bad high, but this is, like, worse than getting a bad high. I mean, I mean … what do I mean? .. oh yeah, don’t take the brown acid man.” He later went on to describe why Doritos's are the best food in the world before he curled up into the fetal position and started singing Innagoddadavida quietly to himself. |
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| CPFOG The Blog is: Gord Gardiner – Writer, Toker, midnight smoker. Jen Gardiner – Puffreader, lover, singer. Todd Jenney – Guy who had his joke stolen and didn’t get so much as a thank you. |
