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A VERY SPECIAL “DOG LIKE SICK” ISSUE |
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THERE’S NOTHING UP MY SLEEVE | ||
WASHINGTON – The Secret Service was left red faced this week when,  during President Obama’s first official State Dinner, a couple gate crashed. Not only did they make it into the event without invitations, but they also posed for a picture with Vice President Joe Biden and met the first couple in the receiving line. The couple, identified as Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale, would not speak directly to the press, but in a prepared statement said something about “Moose and Squirrel.” | ||
GALILEO GALILEO GALILEO GALILEO | ||
ROME – The director of the Museum of the History of Science in  Florence, Italy proudly announced that they have found two fingers and a tooth that were removed from the corpse of famed scientist and male model Galileo “Figaro” Galilei in 1737. The items were removed from Galileo’s corpse by enthusiastic admirers when the body was moved 95 years after his death. One of the fingers was recovered soon after, but the rest of the items went missing. When asked where the items were found, the director mumbled something about “checking behind the couch” and “the other jacket.” | ||
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IT’S RAINING MEN! | ||
| The world of highly sexualizes pop music was rocked this week when American Idol runner up Adam Lambert presented a highly raunchy performance during the American Music Awards last week. Lambert, who is openly gay, performed his song For Your Entertainment. During the song he simulated fellatio with a dancer and full on kissed a male keyboard player, or as otherwise known, stuff Madonna did fifteen years ago. | ||
CHRISTMAS GIFT TIP #2 | ||
| Toys are fun for birthdays, but at Christmas what a child really desires are socks. Socks are not only the perfect Christmas gift for children, they are the ONLY appropriate gift for children. So buy your child nothing but socks. Mountains of socks. They will love you forever. Trust me. | ||
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JUST A BIT OUTSIDE | ||
| The world of hitting a little ball into a hole was shocked this week when Tiger Woods, after an argument with his wife, smashed his car into a tree after striking a fire hydrant., Woods will now have to drive his other car because, even though he has two cars, he now has a hole in one! BWAHAHAHAHA get it? Oh man I kill me! Thank you. Try the veal. | ||
CHRISTMAS GIFT TIP #3 | ||
| Sure buying Christmas gifts early is practical, but to really show how much you care wait until the last day to buy your presents. Trust me, when your mother opens up hew floor model foot massager show will love you for life! | ||
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| CPFOG the Blog is: Gord Gardiner – Wants a Pony for Christmas. Jen Gardiner – Wants a Pony pooper scooper. |
NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG! |
