CPFOG the blog: WEEKLY NEWS ROUNDUP for Monday, January 25, 2010

A VERY SPECIAL “IHUMOR“ ISSUE

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

WASHINGTON – In what some call “Digital history”, President Barak “Husain-

what?” Obama became the first commander-in-chief to “tweet” when he posted his first message to the social networking site Twitter.
On January 19 Obama tweeted the message “Is this how you do this? Am I doing it right? Wussap!” Two minutes later he added his second message “OMG the Jonas Brothers rule!!! lol”

DICTIONARY BLUES

OTTAWA - Thousands of Canadians took to the streets this weekend, opposed to

Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s prorogation of Parliament. The protests were peaceful until someone asked what “prorogation” meant and everyone just freaked out.
Meanwhile the leaders of the opposition, Michael Ignatieff (Liberal) and Jack Layton (NDP) acted as if they could do something about it, which I think is just adorable.
Who’s a good leader of the opposition? You’re a good leader of the opposition?

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH

SOME COTTAGE SOMEWHERE – Meanwhile Prime Minister Stephen Harper said that the rebuilding of earthquake ravaged Haiti would take at least a decade and that “Canada must commit to Haiti in the long term … sometime … later … not right now. You know it’s not like they aren’t going to still need help in a few weeks.”
He then poured himself another mai-tai.
It’s good to be the Prime Minister

NOT LIKE I HAVE A CHANCE

HOLLYWOOD – News out of Hollywood says that movie power couple Brad Pitt and

Angelina Jolie may or may not have broken up. According to many outlets, the couple have or have not come to an agreement over a separation and that Jolie will or will not retain full time possession over the couples many children.
The potential separation rumours did or did not begin when a tabloid magazine announced that Jolie possibly, but possibly not had an affair with a language coach on the set of her new movie, and that the golden couple have or have not seen divorce lawyers in order to split their fortune, which is or is not rumoured to be in the $350 million range.
Man, I’m getting tired just trying to keep up.

THIS JUST IN … STOP THE PRESSES … THIS JUST IN

HOLLYWOOD – It has been confirmed that Angelina Jolie is indeed seeing someone, who has replaced Brad Pitt in her life. So congratulations to new power couple Angeline Jolie and Jay Leno.
Man, is there anything he won’t break up?

IDon’t Know

Computer and cool gizmo maker Apple is going to hold a news conference on

Wednesday to announce a new technology they have created. While there is no official word as to what they might be announcing, most Apple watchers seem to agree that the item will be the long awaited “IReality.”
“IReality” is rumoured to be an application that is much like real life, but cooler, with a snazzy case and the ability to download such apps as “IFood”, “IGirlfriend” and the much anticipated “ISexual Encounter.”
Critics, though, say that this new “IReality” is nothing more than regular reality in an new case with a nice pair of headphones, but Apple fans still wait with anticipation for what will, no doubt, make Steve jobs a lot richer.